Long, wet day

So the trip to see the baby pumpkin was long, but well worth it. Heeding the doomsday snow warnings, my mom and I took the train, and had to walk about 6 blocks in freezing rain to get to Melissa's place. It was a nice day, though. Very relaxing, and of course it's thrilling to hold my niece. I am still thinking to myself "don't drop her," and that's a little bit unnerving, but so far so good. Does that make me terribly paranoid, or does everyone feel that way about babies?

Much as I enjoyed bonding with the baby, I got a real sense of how all-consuming it is being a mom, and I am glad I haven't done it just yet. I have a lot of other things I am thinking about and doing, and I saw that it just wouldn't be possible to do any of that if I were taking care of an infant. Don't get me wrong; there's no doubt I do want to do it some day, but I want to enjoy this awake feeling I've been having lately with all the reading and thinking that goes along with it. I know that motherhood doesn't mean death, but it definitely does require slowing down. And it also seems sort of isolated. But boy that baby smells good.